PinnedMember-onlyThe Lost Art of Self-InquiryThe Lost Art of Self-Inquiry Feeling crazed? You should be. We now make hundreds of choices a day, some matter more than others. But even for those relational choices, the ones that impact our lives and loves, we often rely on the same quick-click, swipe left or right decision-making we’ve…Self-awareness6 min readSelf-awareness6 min read
PinnedMember-onlyThe Power of this Simple Question: How Can I be Helpful?Beauty is a collective virtue. We miss opportunities to create and see beauty in our everyday lives when we fail to consider the needs of others. Everyone is needy — for attention, affection, and affirmation. These are baseline human wants, whether we express them or not, feel them more acutely…Beauty4 min readBeauty4 min read
PinnedHow to Love Many Things: Coming Out and Into a New RealityLove may be love. But straight or gay, it’s never easy. Finding love later in life — with our accumulated experiences, emotional attachments, inevitable losses, and lived complexities — is humbling. Coming out late and finding love is even more so. Through all of this, there is Grace (which can…Coming Out9 min readComing Out9 min read
May 9, 2021Falling WellIt was the time for our time together… You, my once, my now and tomorrow, absent from our afternoon ride on the high road along the cliff. ___ Not in the cloud breaks or the white caps today; not waiting on the point where the lovers met and married, then…Grief And Loss3 min readGrief And Loss3 min read
Apr 15, 2021Until We Are DoneI lost my wife and partner to cancer in the autumn of last year. I’ve been living and writing on Cape Cod. [Shopping alone on a rainy winter Sunday.] Half the things in my cart I don’t eat. But you do. ∞ See, they’re here for you. I’ll take them…Death3 min readDeath3 min read
Feb 13, 2021Someone You Love Has Died; Start the ConversationLosing a Love and Finding Yourself, Again I couldn’t stand being there another night; not after eight months of COVID and hospice and soggy masks and empty needles and used catheters catching my socks, nodding to another caring stranger by the bed. My wife had just died after 12 years…Grief5 min readGrief5 min read
Published inGrowing Grief·Oct 26, 2020Faith in the Unfolding: A Conversation With My Dying WifeThe mental fog that comes with end-stage liver failure often turns to delirium; toxins in the blood cannot be cleared and anemia deprives the brain of the oxygen it needs to perform higher order functions like comprehension and conversation. The cancer in my wife’s liver brought us to this place…Death6 min readDeath6 min read
Jan 2, 2020It’s That Time of Year Again! How to Have the Absolute Bestest Performance Review PossibleYou may be wanting to forget 2019, but chances are good that your boss doesn’t or can’t. It’s performance review season — the second happiest time of the year! Okay, maybe not so much. Performance reviews are among the least favorite encounters for both the reviewer and the recipient. This…Management5 min readManagement5 min read
Dec 9, 2019We’re Not Good At Reading People and It’s Hurting UsPeople get us wrong all the time, which means we get them wrong all the time. As the holidays approach, as you navigate the pressurized social circumstances they bring, when there is relatively little time or desire to think, when food and alcohol dumb us all down, you might want…Self Improvement6 min readSelf Improvement6 min read
Published inThe Startup·Aug 21, 2019Monkey Grooming as a Metaphor for LifeLearning to de-bug our lives as a daily ritual can makes us healthier and more resilient. We can look to the original ginga ninjas for inspiration. They create mental maps of one another and where they live and are smarter because of this process. A reader recently asked, “How do…Self Improvement5 min readSelf Improvement5 min read
