It’s That Time of Year Again! How to Have the Absolute Bestest Performance Review Possible
You may be wanting to forget 2019, but chances are good that your boss doesn’t or can’t. It’s performance review season — the second happiest time of the year!
Okay, maybe not so much.
Performance reviews are among the least favorite encounters for both the reviewer and the recipient. This may explain why both parties tend to underrate the importance of review conversations and why most are done so poorly.
Review recipients underestimate the impact of their behavior in the review setting on their boss’s perception of them — a perception that often has a very long shelf life. Bosses tend to wait until the last minute to complete the review and offer broad and vague observations that leave their reviewees wanting more.
Yes, we look forward to hearing what we’ve done well, but we know that we’ll only remember the bad bits. They will cling to us like hot caramel, eating away at our protective layers, burning and scarring us for life, drawing blood at the slightest touch. (Okay, I had a mishap with some hot sugar water over the holidays.)
Best practice, of course, is for feedback to happen at point and time of need throughout the year. But we know that this rarely happens, so the annual or twice yearly colonoscopic exploration of your professional innards, which happens without sedation or even a cookie at the end, breeds fear and loathing or at least some measure of dread.
I’ve done hundreds of reviews over the years. I’ve also received many. Here’s what I’ve learned and what I want to share as my coaching conversations this month turn to how performance reviews can best be given and received.
1. Feedback is ALWAYS a gift, even if uncomfortable and/or even if it contains observations with which you don’t agree or just know to be wrong. Thank your reviewer at the beginning and end. You’re thanking them for taking the time to think about you, not necessarily for what they are saying.
2. Ask permission to take notes, ideally on the review itself, which you’d (ideally) have had a chance to review beforehand. Hopefully, you’ll be given specific examples and recommendations. (Note to reviewers: PLEASE GIVE EXAMPLES!)
If you’re taking notes on your device, don’t let it become a protective shield between you and your reviewer; position it to the side and keep the space open between you and your boss. I’ve seen people disappear, an inch a minute, behind an open laptop screen until I can only see their hairlines and a few beads of sweat hanging on for dear life.
3. Listen actively and practice affirmative body language; don’t interrupt. Affirmative body language includes a smiling or at least an open face, a calm composure (no fidgeting or shifting), and eye contact (but avoid the You’ll burn in Hell for this evil stare). Jot down questions as they arise but keep eye contact.
4. At an appropriate point, ask clarifying questions. Stick to what’s and how’s, not why’s — e.g., What might an example be of the X behavior you mentioned? How could I do this better the next time? Why questions always imply you’re questioning the person’s judgment — as in, why are you so stupid as to not understand how fantastic I really am?
5. Even if you’re receiving quite positive feedback, ask for examples — e.g., In that situation where you felt I ran the the meeting well, what, specifically, did I do that you felt made the difference?
6. Always ask some form of the following: What can I be doing to make your life/job easier? Or, what do you need from me this year? Or, what’s your top priority in the coming year and how can I help?
7. If you’ve not already arranged this, make sure you ask for the opportunity to clarify goals for the coming year — either at this review meeting or at another shortly after. Your reviewer should prompt this conversation but may not. Don’t just assume your current goals will roll forward. If you believe today’s goals should change, then have some suggested modifications handy.
8. Have an “ask” ready — something your boss could do for you that would make your life easier (ideally so you can better help him or her do his/her job more easily.) Even if your boss doesn’t ask for your ask, you can cleverly work it in. For example, I really appreciated that piece of constructive feedback and would like to act on it. What would help me do so is for you to…
9. If there are any remedial actions you need to take, don’t riff in the moment about how to fix the issues. Take some time after the review to consider your best options and arrange a follow up to discuss how you plan to address. You’ll want to make the pain go away and will be tempted to “fix” whatever it is in the moment. You probably can’t, so don’t try.
10. Try to avoid saying “I don’t agree” if you receive any feedback with which you don’t actually agree.
This is a big one. Assume your boss (and HR) have thought about what they’re sharing with you and your agreement in the moment isn’t really what they are looking for. What they want is to know that you’ve heard them. You need to let them know that you have.
You are not required to sign a review with which you have material differences until you’ve worked out language and possible remedies. But that conversation best happens after the review. A pause in the conversation (and some emotional distance) will enable you to think carefully about where you don’t agree and to offer an alternative view and some constructive suggestions about how to move forward.
There likely won’t be enough time for the review — there never is. Don’t take this personally.
Your role as a good executive showing great presence is to ensure that you make the best use of whatever time you do have and show respect for the process and your reviewer by maintaining an engaging and professional composure throughout.
Again, feedback is a always a gift. Repeat until you kind of, sort of believe it.
